Thinking Clearly - Kelly Burnett

Male or Female - It’s Good to Talk!

Fri, 20 Sep 2019 15:48:38 GMT

Male of Female - It's good to talk!

Much is reported in the press about men’s mental health- “suicide is the most common cause of death in males aged 20-49! Men are 3 times more likely to take their own life than women!” And why? Quite simply, because women are better at seeking help and talking!

We live in a time when life is stressful; the demands to earn more, have more and be better are all consuming. And if that isn’t enough, some men feel they are supposed to do it alone in silence. Whether it be holding in the hurt from that failed promotion, to dealing with the death of a loved one, talking to someone can help. Counselling gives you the opportunity to explore your feelings in depth and begin the journey of healing and change.

Anxiety - Beat it, before it beats you!

Fri, 20 Sep 2019 15:47:17 GMT

Anxiety - Beat it, before it beats you!

Many people often ask, “how do I deal with anxiety?”

Well, there’s not a quick fix answer to this- but, there is help and hope! There are things you can do for yourself, some of which you may have tried already, but what has proven extremely effective, is when a combination of self-help is used alongside personal counselling. Adding personal counselling into the mix means that the underlying issues associated with anxiety are properly addressed and that the root cause is dealt with, not just the symptoms, thus eliminating the anxiety.

What are the symptoms?

The symptoms of anxiety vary from person to person; some of them you may recognise and include:

feeling a knot in your chest or stomach

dizzy, shortness of breath, feeling foggy

sweaty palms

difficulty sleeping

difficulty concentrating

withdrawing from relationships that matter to you

feeling confused and overwhelmed

avoiding work and normal routines

feeling the worst will happen

feeling over-emotional or detached

These symptoms may paralyse you and severely impact your day to day life and stop you living the life you want to live, and this is where counselling can help. If you think of a beautiful green lawn, and dotted around the lawn is the odd weed; to get rid of the weed you may cut the head off, resulting in the weed growing back. To ensure the best chance of it not returning, you would have to dig the root out. Similar to how counselling works with anxiety. To eradicate it we need to tackle the root of it, find out what is causing it and get rid of it.

How will counselling help me?

Since anxiety affects each person differently, counselling can help you understand your anxiety as it is for you, based on your unique circumstances and life. Counselling will also:

help you to understand where your anxiety started and how it developed

help you identify the negative patterns you have adopted

help you identify your symptoms

help you formulate a personalised action plan to break negative patterns and eliminate symptoms

provide you with the tools and strategies to cope and bring about change going forward

What does Depression look like?

Fri, 20 Sep 2019 15:42:45 GMT

So, what does Depression look like?

So, what do all these 6 celebrities have in common? I’m sure you’ve guessed, but for those of you that don’t know, all 6 of them have in some way been affected by depression at some point in their life, and bravely, all 6 have spoken of their struggles; all individual and unique, but still very real to them. As a child of the 70’s, going to school in the 80’s and 90’s I knew very little of depression, in fact it was relatively unheard of, people didn’t admit they had it. Depressed people were labelled as crazy, weird and miserable. How times have changed and thank goodness they have!

What does depression look like?

Depression affects around 10% of the population over the course of their lives, so, if you stand with a group of 10 of your friends, chances are 1 out of that group will be affected by it.

On the outside, depression can look happy or it can look sad; it can easily be masked. It’s no respecter of persons, it affects both males and females alike. It’s no respecter of class either, both the rich and the poor are affected, and it doesn’t care what job you have, it zaps your life of joy just the same and makes you feel persistently sad and down for weeks and even months at a time.

Stephen Fry described his depression “like having your own personal weather…and like weather, storms come.” In dealing with it, he says, there are “two mistakes…to deny that it’s raining"…and to say, “therefore my life is over. It’s raining and the sun will never come out.”

When the storm of depression rains down on you and the black cloud lingers overhead, remember, that it won’t last forever, “this too shall pass” and you will see the brightness of the sun again. Also remember, that it’s important to accept that it’s here and what you are experiencing is real and it’s not your fault. Sufferers describe how isolated they feel when they are in the midst of it, and that it’s hard to do the things they know can help, and even struggle to formulate a plan to help them get through it.

This is where counselling can help - you don’t have to do it alone! Talking to someone can help you feel that you aren’t alone in this and walk with you through it. They can also help you change your negative thought patterns and beliefs (that typically worsen with depression).

I’ve been a sufferer with “diagnosed” depression now for several years. It comes and goes. When it’s here, the days feel dark and black and I literally can’t get out of bed. Initially, I went to see my doctor who prescribed medication, which did help, but it didn’t get rid of the depression altogether. What really helped me also, was being able to go talk to someone who could understand how I was feeling and didn’t judge me. That was really important- to not feel judged as I already felt like a failure anyway for having the depression. Being able to speak with my counsellor honestly and be able to reveal how I was truly feeling was liberating. Once I had done this, she helped me realise how my thoughts and beliefs had become more negative as the time went on and helped me change these - P (Yorkshire)